Our Blog

Life goes on, and you’ll find yourself, to one degree or another depending on the day or time-of-day; feeling out-of-sync with what is going on around you. You’ll be faced with strong emotions, intermittent fatigue, still have to cope with daily life and also be responsible for taking care of many details related to your loved one's life and estate. Our guide to the early days of after a death of someone dear to you can help. Practicing Good Self-Care Immediately after the funeral or memorial service, you should give yourself adequate time to rest. While you may find sleep to be elusive, you can always just lie down and shut your eyes for a time. Remember to eat, and drink enough fluids. Do your best to calm your mind. And when you are compelled to complete an important task related to the death of your loved one, never hesitate to call upon a friend or family member to help. If you find you need more grief support, we offer valuable information for you here on the nature and purpose of grief, the varied experiences of grieving, and offer insights on ways you can help yourself heal after loss. We also offer support in an on-going aftercare program to support you and your family in completing pertinent documents and ensuring your affairs are looked after. Please call us to learn the many ways we can assist you after the funeral. Dealing with Practicalities There are certain practical matters you’ll need to attend to after the death of a loved one. A brief overview of these could include: Finding the Will You have to have the original; the court won’t accept a copy. Then you’ll have to register the will at the local probate office. Locating Assets and Determining Liabilities That is, locate all the essential information about your loved one’s assets and liabilities: insurance policies, bank accounts, retirement accounts, investments and loans. You’ll need all these to manage upcoming transactions and to notify the financial providers. Contacting their Employer This will help you handle retirement plan distributions, employer-purchased insurance payouts and ensure that any vacation pay due goes to beneficiaries. Keeping Your Eye on the Mail Box Chances are good something will eventually arrive about an account or loan the deceased had, and there may be assets that aren’t even known to the family. Take the time to cancel magazine subscriptions, catalogs, and anything else arriving by mail regularly. Paying the Bills Don’t let anything get by you and slip into collections. Make sure you’ve arranged to wrap up any outstanding liabilities: the monthly utility bill, the mortgage, credit card bills, or car loans. Filing Tax Returns It’s true that nothing is certain except death and taxes. Without fail, you will eventually have to send in federal and state income tax returns and possibly estate tax returns. It may benefit you to turn these tasks over to a certified accountant. Consulting a Lawyer When things are really complex, or if you’re just not comfortable handling an estate, you may want to bring in an estate attorney. At the very least, check in with one after you’ve completed what you can. We’d recommend telling them what you’ve done, and asking them if you’ve missed anything along the way. Chances are, they can tie up any loose ends in an hour or two – and the peace-of-mind you’ll receive in return for their fee is well worth the price.

Chances are, within the first 24 hours of your loved one’s death, you will need to meet with a funeral home to begin the funeral arrangements . While you could choose to meet with us, you could also decide to meet with another funeral provider. Either way, the following information will help you prepare for what is often called “the arrangement conference.” Without a doubt, this is a difficult time for you and your loved ones. Yet, it’s comforting to know every member of the funeral home staff will be there to do their utmost to make this difficult time a little bit easier. The Funeral Director will guide you in making all the necessary decisions. It’s good to know you are not alone. Would You Like Someone to Go with You? Perhaps you’d like another member of the family to come along with you. Or maybe you’d rather have a friend, or close neighbor join you in the first visit to the funeral home. While it’s not necessary to bring someone with you for moral support, it can be very beneficial. Please don’t hesitate to ask someone to join you. Chances are they will be honored at your request, and gladly step up to help you during this time. When you ask, be sure to tell them that if they do not feel comfortable doing so, you’ll understand. Who is Responsible for Making the Decisions? It’s important to know exactly who is legally responsible for making the funeral arrangement decisions for a loved one. If the deceased has not expressed their wishes through a written document such as a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, or a Last Will and Testament, where the deceased has designated an agent to fulfill their wishes; then the chain of command is commonly as follows: Legal Spouse/Partner Surviving Adult Child/Children Surviving Parent Surviving Adult Sibling Ex-Spouse Parent of Minor Child The person designated as the responsible party, whoever they may be, needs to be present to make decisions, and sign documents. Should Someone Else be Included in Making the Arrangements? While assigning responsibility is an important part of funeral planning , it’s also very important to include any children, friends, or other family who would like to be a part of arranging the funeral, and perhaps share in the cost of a funeral . Despite the fact that they may not have any legal decision-making rights, their input could be very valuable to the process. Assisting in making the final funeral arrangement decisions can be very empowering, and help someone come to terms with the loss. If there are people in your life who you feel should be asked to participate, make sure you ask them. They can always decline. Have You Gathered the Necessary Documents? Life and death are full of legalities. When a loved one dies, it is not just an emotional matter for those left behind; it is a legal one which requires the timely completion of paperwork. The Funeral Director will tell you that the first step in caring for your loved one involves completing, and filing, the Death Certificate and Burial or Cremation permit. These documents need to be completed as accurately as possible and if you are not prepared with the necessary information, then most of your initial meeting will be spent retrieving this information. To assist the funeral home in preparing all the necessary documents, it’s helpful to bring some of the following things with you:  Deceased's Birth Certificate Deceased's Marriage Certificate Deceased's Military Discharge papers Deceased's Funeral pre-arrangements documents (if available) Deceased Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Last Will and Testament and any Codicils Revocable Living Trust

This is one of the major decisions which must be made when making funeral arrangements , and for most families, the answer depends on a variety of things. For example, if the family has traditionally chosen burial in previous generations, they may again decide to choose earth burial , simply because the family own plots together in a local cemetery. And sometimes, one or more of the family members may not like the idea of cremation and choose burial. Cremation , as you may well know, is the accelerated reduction of the remains to ash, traditionally through the process of heat and fire. We encourage all families to consider whichever option suits them best at the time of need. Should you have any questions, feel free to call or email us . We will be pleased to share our knowledge and expertise with you.

We’ve seen it happen time and again. The person making the initial call to our funeral home turns out not to be the one with the legal responsibilities of making decisions related to the care of a loved one. While they may feel that they should be the one to make these choices, the law doesn’t recognize them as such – and so their voice can become effectively silenced. If the deceased has not expressed their wishes through a written document such as a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care , or a Last Will and Testament , where the deceased has designated an agent to fulfill their wishes; then the chain of command, formally called the “order of precedence”, is commonly as follows: Legal Spouse/Partner Surviving Adult Child/Children Surviving Parent Surviving Adult Sibling Ex-Spouse Parent of Minor Child The person designated as the responsible party, whoever they may be, needs to be present to make decisions, and sign documents. If you are unclear as to who is the responsible person in planning a funeral for your loved one, call us . The Critical Importance of Designating a Representative If your loved one has yet to specify who they wish to be in control of their funeral service planning, and they are clear-headed enough to do so, now is the perfect time to take care of that task. This is especially important if they think their relatives will not respect their funeral plans , or if they are on bad terms with them; do not know where they are, or do not have any living relatives. And, you might mention that appointing a specific person to arrange their funeral who is not a family member, but is deeply trusted, is a good way to ensure that their final wishes are carried out. They can designate their choice by completing an Advance Health Care Directive, or the easy-to-read 5 Wishes guide from Aging with Dignity. Should you have questions about doing so, call us , or speak with your family attorney.

When someone you know and love dies, what are you really left with? Memories. Perhaps there are photos, memorabilia, or home movies to document those special moments you shared. Most likely there are just stories about time together, and places you’ve been…and people you both knew. We know how important it is to secure those stories for the future. Your memories, after all, are a way you hold on to the people you love, who you never want to lose. That’s why we offer families the Book of Memories™, a uniquely beautiful way to commemorate the life and times of a loved one. The Book of Memories™ memorial website is a living, growing testament to the beauty of a life lived. As your family and friends share photos, videos, and stories; light commemorative candles or make donations in honor of a loved one, the legacy grows. And in the early days after a loss, it may be difficult to see beyond the sorrow. But with the Book of Memories™, looking back over the life of your loved one will help comfort you tomorrow…and all the days and years to follow. If you’d like to create a Book of Memories™ in commemoration of your loved one, contact us . We will be pleased to assist you in this loving gesture.