The Moments Before & After Death

Who Can Become a Donor?

 Anyone who is 18 or older and of sound mind may become a donor when he or she dies. Minors may become donors with a parent's or guardian's consent.

Will my decision interfere with my own health care?

 No. Medical personnel must follow strict guidelines before they can pronounce death and remove the donor's organs and tissues. Organ and tissue donors receive the same health care as non-donors.

How will medical personnel know that I am a donor?

Medical personnel will know by your carrying of a "Donor Card". You should distribute copies to your family, doctors, funeral home that holds your pre-arranged services and attorney.

Who Pays for the Donation Procedure?

The organ donation programs, funded through health care, pay for all costs involved in the organ donation and recovery.

How Are the Organs & Tissues Distributed?

The distribution of organs is handled by regional organ banks which are linked to a national computer network that allows them to speed the process of matching organ donors and recipients. Tissue distribution is coordinated by various tissue banks throughout the country.

Does My Age or Medical History Matter?

Although most programs do have age restrictions for organs, it should not influence your decision to become a donor. The transplant team will decide at the time of donation whether the organs or tissues are useful for donation. If the organs or tissues can't be transplanted, it is possible that the organs or tissues may be helpful in medical research.

Will I Have to Change My Funeral Arrangements?

Within reason, organ donation does not delay funeral arrangements or disfigure the body, so no changes will be needed in your funeral plans. If you plan to donate your body for medical research, you should be sure to arrange all of the details with your local anatomical board.

Can I Change My Mind About Becoming a Donor?

Absolutely, simply tear up your donor card. Anyone that you have told about your donation request should be notified of this change. Tell family members, doctors, funeral home, and if you have made arrangements to have your status indicated on your driver's license be sure to contact the driver's license office to have your status changed.

What Do You Want this Experience to be Like for Your Family?

Before you go any further, the overriding question to ask, no matter the situation, is this one. Think about it. This will be a time in their life they will always remember. Just how do you want them to look back on it?

We’re confident you’d say you want them to remember it as a time of loving compassion; where the news of their loved one’s death was delivered with kindness and understanding. And that takes forethought. One aspect of thinking ahead includes avoiding the Internet channels of communication during the first hours after a loved one dies.

You want to be very careful that this information is not broadcasted through Facebook or Twitter (or any other social media site), or via Instant Messaging, before you’ve had the opportunity to connect with family members personally.

Stop, Think… and then Speak

You know your family members, and chances are you can predict how each one of them needs to be cared for during this difficult time. Our best advice is that you walk into this situation with your “eyes wide open”, and set the stage accordingly.

Should you call them in the middle of the night, or while they are at work, or school? Only you know the answer. But, when you tell them is an important consideration, and your family member deserves your clearest thinking on the matter of when you tell them the news.

Then, you need to think about how you will break the news. It’s preferable to deliver such news in person, but if that’s not possible, a phone call will have to do. In either case, we have some valuable suggestions:

• Protect them by asking them to sit down. After all, such news can often make someone’s knees buckle, and send them crashing to the floor.
• Choose your words carefully. You know the right words for the person you’re speaking to hear. If using a phrase like “passed on”, “passed away”, or “gone to a better place” makes sense, then use it. If you think they would they would rather hear their loved one has died, then that word is appropriate.
• Give them as many of the details involved in the death as you feel they need to hear right now.
• When you’re done, ask them if there’s anything they would like to know, and if there is, answer their questions as best as you can.
• Let them know they can continue to ask questions during the days ahead, and that they can openly express any emotions they are feeling now – and in the future – such as fear, guilt, sadness, depression, or anger.



After the call is made, or the news shared in person, keep the lines of communication open. And in the days to come, help your family member (to the best of your ability, considering your own grief) work through these emotions by encouraging them and reassuring them.